Pursuing your wife: Being a real Man!!!!

Hey guys, hope you have been having a blessed couple days with your wives!

Today I want to get a little serious for a bit and touch on a topic that I take pretty serious.

I grew up without a father, and my mom always with some alcoholic, abusive boyfriend. Not really a good environment for any positive examples on what kind of a man to be, but perfect for the kind of man that the world is saying more and more is okay. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I had to learn everything the hard way in my marriage.

There was at one point in time when I was feeling like I wasn’t enough for my wife and family because no matter what I did I kept failing at it. I constantly felt like I was failing at being a husband, father and a provider. Which in turn was causing my mind to wander in areas that it shouldn’t have been, making it even harder to keep from failing.

The way to avoid all this is so simple that it now makes me wonder why it was so hard for me to find it. My wife even has a hard time with understanding why what might seem so simple was actually really hard for me (doesn’t help I don’t explain things very well either) and I’m sure that I’m not alone in this battle. Here is the really simple solution…

We need to drop this image that guys can’t be sensitive, guess what we CAN!!! I think as men we get so caught up in this image of having a “man card” that we lose sight on what’s important. We need to keep in mind that women need more than just some muscle around the house. Our kids need more than a guy who gives out punishments or brings home a paycheck. We cant be scared to play with our kids for once even if that means we are going to a tea party.

You can look around and see how many marriages are failing because people start looking outside the marriage to fulfill a need that’s missing. It doesn’t matter if it’s the man or the woman, it’s happening way too much. Once we drop the tough guy image, then we can be that shoulder she needs, or the ear to listen about her day. We don’t always need all the answers to things or to try to fix it. We need to be sensitive for once. Also we can’t be scared to be tender towards our kids, they need to see that vulnerable side of us as well. We will pass on to our sons who they need to be, and to our daughters what kind of man she needs to be looking for, plus so much more. When we follow what the bible says about being submissive (honoring, respecting, loving, and so on) not just to our wives but to our children as well, things will change. Check Out Ephesians 5:21-33.

It breaks my heart to read in the news about another child or woman who has been abused. Or to see more and more people suffering in a broken home because the man has failed in his role as a husband or father. We need to start changing our ways now, looking to God as our compass and letting him break this chain so our kids will grow up to do greater things, and live life more abundantly than we have.

breaking-the-chain

Jesus clearly set the example of all of those things while he was walking this earth as a man. God the father showed him love and compassion, then he passed that down to his disciples (aka children), He honored women, and held them in high esteem, we should be doing the same. I can look at my children and see what a difference it’s making already, they care so much for each other and for other people that it blows me away.

Another fun & loving thing you can do in the pursuit of love with your wife, (but it’s also fun with kids) is get a bunch of dry erase markers and use them on the mirrors or windows to write messages of encouragement and love to each other. My kids really love to leave me pictures on my mirror, then I get to have them tell me about what they have drawn. It is an awesome way to draw closer to each other in your relationships, as you all work together toward your relationship with God.

Don’t forget to relentlessly pursue the love of God, your wife and children this week!

See you later.

Adam

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