Everyday something new comes on the news about something that has happened to a family and The lack of a father figure roll in the home is something that really resonates with me, and makes me both sad and disgusted. So I am going to share with you a little bit of my history.
I grew up without my father, he was hurt very badly in a work accident that left him badly handicapped. My mother was never married to him, and the relationship had not gone very far other than in the making of me, so it was easy for her to move on. She didn’t do much to help me keep a relationship with him at all, she was too wrapped up in drugs & alcohol and all the very wonderful guys that come with that lifestyle. I can remember a time when her boyfriend was high on meth or heroine (not sure which one) I had to run out of the house to the neighbors after watching him beat my mom and then come after me. I was 8 at the time… I was stuck with that guy in my life until I was almost 10, when I had finally had enough, and called my older sister to come and pick me up. By the time I was 10 I had tasted alcohol, I knew what Meth, Heroine, and Pot were, I knew what you needed to do them even the homemade pipes people made. I knew what sex was, and not just been told, I had watched pornography. My mom had also went to prison, so I spent a year with my aunt. The best part of all is that I had to make my own mother choose between the lifestyle or me, then I left not waiting for her decision. I made sure that if she really wanted me, she would have to totally walk away from the lifestyle and the boyfriend.
Within two years, she had moved away from the boyfriend to be with me, but she never left the lifestyle drugs & alcohol were still her family of choice. So, once again, I had to make the choice to move out. This time I didn’t give her a chance for me to come back, I never lived with her again.
Today the person who is writing this post is not the same person. It has been a long road with a lot of lessons learned the hard way. I’m so thankful that my wife is so amazing. She has been through so much crap because of me, but she stuck by me, and pointed me to the only father I have ever needed, the one who could not only teach me how to be a man of integrity & honor, but one whose life is now a reflection of the His unconditional love and guidance. I never got into drugs or became an alcoholic, but all the things a father should’ve taught his son I learned on my own. I never had an example of what kind of man I should be, as a person or as a husband. I want to give you a few examples from the life a Jesus that will show you who we should be as men. They have really helped me along my journey.
Jesus held women in such a high esteem in so many ways. He stopped one from being stoned and showed how women are people, not property. (John 8:3-11)
Jesus shows how a husband and wife are equals, in fact, He goes as far as to say that they are one flesh and nothing can separate them. (Mark 10:2-12)
Jesus uses women in His parables as the image of God (Luke 15:8-10):
Even in His last moments of pain and torture on the cross, He had to make sure that there was going to be someone who would be taking care of his mother….
“ When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”
That shows us great example on how He regarded women.
Lets take a look at what the Bible has to say about what a husband should be:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— Ephesians 5:25-29
If we look in the next chapter we can see where the role as a father is touched upon:
“ Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.- Ephesians 6:4″
I just want to end this with saying that as a man, husband, and leader of your family, the most important thing we can do is be on our knees. The more you pray, the better your relationship with God will be and the better your relationship with your family will be. On our knees is the first place that we need to start in order to repair any relationship.I know that it is very hard, I have made up any and every excuse possible to not have time. It hasn’t helped me, the excuses have only put more strain on the relationship with my wife, and made getting to this point a lot harder.
When we seek Gods presence in our lives, only then will we start to understand what it means to be loved by someone and to really love someone the way that God has intended us to love. My prayer for all of you is that this verse will imprint on your heart as well as mine.
‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
– Jeremiah 29:13
As you start this week, I challenge you to take five minutes in the morning to seek God with all your hearts. I will be praying every morning that He will show himself to each and every one of you. If you need prayer, and would like me to be praying specifically for something in your life, please leave me a comment, or message me on my Facebook or Instagram pages.
Always be fearless in your relentless pursuit of Gods love, and the love of your family.